He says:

Men have a powerful urge for sexual contact and sexual variety. Why, for example, would I pay someone to masturbate me when I could do it myself? Why sneak out from work, risk bumping into someone I know, entering a stranger’s home for a massage (usually badly done by someone with no training) just so they can finish me off with an oily 3 minute pole-polishing?

And why would I do this when I’m still happily having regular sex with my wife?

I don’t know the answer. But for those of you believing your husband/partner would not be capable of this sort of mid day adventure, think again. I’m in a sexually satisfying marriage. We probably have sex more often than “normal” for a married couple. I’m not desperate. Not a porn-addicted sex addict. Not an ugly, socially awkward loser. Just a horny guy who adds some small measure of spice into his life with a discrete ‘rub and tug’.

The classified pages of our city’s newspapers are full of girls (and some guys) offering sensual massage and there’s a chance your husband is one of the thousands visiting them every week. He might enjoy the illicitness of it, (although for me it’s done with open discussion with my wife) or he might just like an escape from his obligations, his normalcy, his ‘grown up’ world.

So what goes on at these places and should you fear that your husband might be making these secretive visits? In our city (an Australian state capital city) the girls usually have a small city apartment that’s chosen for its discrete location with easy carparking. The girls are often fairly plain looking, a good portion are Asian with limited English skills, and they charge $60-120 for a 30-60 minute massage.

Some stay fully clothed, some undress while the guy is face-down, providing the visual stimulus when he rolls over to help bring things to a head, so to speak. One girl I visited recently climbed onto the massage table, sitting on my legs and spreading her own so I had an explicit view. I’ve never sought out “extras” but one told me she often got the request. Most have chosen this ‘job of Jobs’ as a less personal, less emotional one than the “full service” options and consider it very different to hooking.

Your husband’s not getting kissed. No cuddling, no reciprocal touching, no intimacy. He’s getting a massage with a happy ending. And as he cums he closes his eyes, raw desire giving way to a measure of shame. Some guilt, some remorse, some release of stress. A mix of emotions. And for me, more than anything, surprise that the pursuit of an orgasm can be such a powerful force.

She says:


He says:
I’m hoping that committing to writing this will help me answer the question! I don’t know whether my pleasure comes from seeing my wife get pleasure or watching her give pleasure, or simply just being able to watch a real-life porn from up close.

I’ve watched other people have sex before. It started at the age of 17 when a friend and I competed for a girl’s attentions after a late, drunken party. It ended with her in the middle of a messy, 3 person groping session and I still remember the thrill of seeing him sliding his hand into her jeans. I’ve always been a voyeur and proud.

I’m visual like most guys, consider the female form in all shapes and sizes to be one of the most beautiful creations, and I love to see people in that most honest of expressions when orgasm is reached. Naked in body and soul, life’s many layers of pretension and expectations stripped away along with our clothes.The moment when raw desire takes over, animal instinct and need for release push aside all caution and care.

I’m married to a woman who’s been raised to believe sex is a forbidden topic, with a mother who herself suffered childhood abuse and gave my wife a negative view of sexuality. So to see my wife in the grip of that sexual moment, to be able to sit back and watch her give in to the illicitness, is something of a release for both of us. I love to see her allow herself the physical sensations she deserves. To put her pleasure ahead of her fears. To see her be as shallow as me!

The thrill of watching my wife’s face as a stranger slides his manhood into her is without doubt one of my greatest pleasures. I’m not sure exactly why I want to see her be ‘slut-like’. But knowing she’s unleashing her desires, giving herself over to physical pleasure and fulfilling fantasies, somehow brings me closer to her.

She says: still to come (no pun intended!)

No doubt many couples share racy stories with each other in the private darkness of their bedroom. Using fantasy to put some sizzle into your intimate moments is very common and naturally our stories grow braver over time. What starts as light bondage for ear candy can become ‘tied-down-and-football-teamed’ once you’ve explored your fantasy limits.

But how do you make that step from private fantasising with your partner, to getting naked with another person? For us it seemed sudden when it happened but looking back the progression was actually quite gradual.

I’d had a 3-some in a younger, casual relationship, with the girl asking a mate of mine to join us one drunken night. So from our early days as a couple my wife and I talked about that experience and, like every heterosexual male, I shared my fantasy of having one of her girlfriends join us. We had some near-misses during our first 6 or 7 years together as a couple, hinting at possibilities with friends. One couple did climb into our bed one night, the girl open to some free love. My wife wasn’t ready, or into it, or she was scared. Probably all of the above.

Over time I was open about my desires and, while I like to think I wasn’t pushy, as a horny 20-something I’m sure I tested my girlfriend/fiancé/wife’s patience.

Then some time later we had a friend staying at our place, ironically that same mate from my youthful 3-some. The three of us went out one night, ended up at a strip club, then home late. As the drinks continued talk turned to the strippers and comparisons with my wife’s chest were discussed in detail…. So much so that she pulled her top up. With lust resulting from alcohol, hours of watching naked dancers gyrating, and with my encouragement, my mate took one of her nipples into his mouth.

I was slightly stunned, excited and immediately accepted she would stop things anytime soon. But the groping of hands continued and we moved to the bedroom. She took him in her mouth, he returned the favour, more groping, then I entered her for a frenzied thrusting that brought our first 3-some to its climax.

Was it great sex? Definitely not. But it opened a door for us as a couple, and a journey’s followed that we might not have started on without my mate and those strippers!